Writing Letters Every Day

Guess what? I'm impatient. Knowing that the earliest arrival month for our girl could be August, I'm thinking that's a pretty long wait. But look how far we've come since last August, when we decided to move forward with adoption!

Is it possible that our daughter could come home to us within one year of our decision to pursue her? August seems so far away, and so close a the same time. She will be old enough to start kindergarten when she comes home! I can't wait to teach her everything a kindergartener should know.

I can't wait to tell her about Aslan. I hope she's not afraid of lions. And I really hope she's not afraid of dogs. When we meet her, I will show her videos of our dogs doing friendly doggy things, so maybe she will see that they're nice house dogs, not scary street dogs, before she even meets them. Kyle says she's probably never met a big, fluffy dog like Opus. If she's afraid of him because he's a dog, I suppose we could always tell her he's a lion or a bear. Maybe that would make her feel better?

I wonder what she's doing. I wonder what her life was like before she arrived at the orphanage. My adoption agent's theory is that our girl's biological parents found out they were pregnant with a boy baby, so they abandoned their daughter in favor of supporting a child who could fetch a higher dowry price in the future. Oh, sweet girl. What must she be feeling? I am thankful that our home study is preparing us to care for this wounded little one. God knows everything about her. God knows everything she needs.

My New Year's resolution is to write letters to our daughter every day until she comes home, so she will know that we have prayed for her and worked toward bringing her home, that we want her, that we love her, that we will not abandon her.

Please pray for her, and pray that we will get the resources and preparations we need to bring her home.

All We Want for Christmas

We have our referral! We have a photo of a specific, beautiful little four-year-old girl. Our daughter. We are thrilled. We love her. We want to bring her home. We pray that she will be home by next Christmas.
I knew that seeing her photo would make it difficult to think of anything else, but she's such a lovely thought. Please pray, please pray...

"Buying a Baby"

"Adoption sounds like buying a baby to me," said one of my students this past week.

"It does sound like that, doesn't it?," I replied.

A good conversation ensued. Yes, it does sound like we're buying a child. But consider the wordage.

Jesus "paid the price for our sins." Jesus "bought us with His blood." People can use the verb "buy" in speaking about adoption, because it's used in describing God's means of adopting His children into His family.  So yes, we're following Jesus' example, and paying the price required to bring our child out of danger, into our family, to become an heir, and to be loved unconditionally.

Of course, it is impossible to follow Christ's example without help from Him. We are NOT spiritually, emotionally or financially adept to adopt this child, but God is. God will give us everything we need to bring her home, because He is the one rescuing her, not us. He wants her in HIS family. We are only hoping to be instruments of his Grace.

On the same day, I was talking to an older lady about the adoption. She asked how much it would cost, and upon my reply, she said, "So they're selling babies."  Yep. Kind of. We have to pay people to make sure the laws are followed. We have to pay the country, and the orphanage, and the American side of things. However corrupt the cost may or may not be, there is a cost.

Then she said, "But on the flip side, someone who is willing to pay $30,000 or more to bring a child home must be very committed."  Yep, we are. That's the point.

We know the cost is outlandish.

God paid an outlandish price to bring us Home. Jesus has already paid the price for our daughter, and we're waiting to see how He will work to bring her into our family, His family, by His grace alone.

Please pray. 

"You were bought with a price; do not become slaves of men."
1 Corinthians 7:23

"For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself also will be set free from its slavery to corruption into the freedom of the glory of the children of God." Romans 8:20-21

"...the Lord will take me in."

"Though my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will take me in."  - Psalm 27:10

Imagine a child abandoned by her parents, orphaned not because her parents died, but because they decided not to keep her, possibly because she's a girl. Imagine that she's already four years old, and she knows that her family has abandoned her by choice. What will become of her?

Abandoned daughters are very common in India. 

We've seen some photos. There are referrals. But if we choose one of those referrals, if we decide to claim one of these children as our own, we would need to make an initial payment of $7,250, immediately, and we don't have it. Please pray with us that God would provide the funds we need. We trust that God will provide, and we wait eagerly to find out how that will happen! Since our home study is not yet complete, we are not yet eligible to apply for grants, but I am working on getting the applications ready so we can apply as soon as possible.

We are making progress! Kyle got his FBI fingerprints taken, too, and we sent them to the FBI fortress in WV via certified mail early last week. Looking over some of the home study information, we realized we needed ten hours of adoption education in order to be eligible to adopt from a Hague accredited country. The cost for both of us is $195. Kyle worried that we didn't have the money for that, but I reminded him that we have enough in our special adoption donation bank account! It was such a relief to remember that we have already been so blessed with the support of God's people.

So...there is much to be done, and quickly. Please pray with us. 

Wanna Hold Your Hand

The fingerprint machine at the local sheriff's office is working again! So I went to the big, slightly-less-scary-than-a-former-Soviet government building and had my fingerprints taken today, even though the employees repeatedly rolled their eyes, glancing at the twenty minutes left for fingerprinting on the clock before they consented to take my money and literally hold my hands while the computer recorded my prints. Kyle couldn't go because he had to work late, even though his superiors said he could have the day off if I came to PT with him this morning, which I did, so that was not exactly the truth, but it's OK. A little morning exercise never hurt anyone. He can get his prints taken later.

And...when I ordered a big new shipment of these beautiful handmade-in-India cards and journals, I was just guessing about the amount that would sell. Turns out I guessed wrong. The package arrived yesterday and almost half of the inventory has already sold! Whoa! So God hasn't forgotten us!

Just when I start thinking I should push thoughts of my child-to-be into the back of my head, things start rolling again. Praise Jesus.

Mama Bear

So two weeks ago, I had the privilege of giving six vials of blood. I will gladly give my blood if it means someone will sign a paper recommending me as a mother, stating that I'm healthy enough to raise a child...but the physical examination process isn't finished yet. I still have to find some obscure office where they can officially conduct my hearing test, plus a few other things I don't really understand. I'm just glad we don't have to get our physicals conducted in the Ukraine. I've talked to parents who have adopted from that place. I've heard how that goes. No, thanks.

Kyle hasn't had a chance to have his physical done yet, and lots of our home study paperwork remains incomplete, not to mention the homework reading I haven't yet finished, though it's excellent and I'm so thankful to have it.

Oh, and then there's the ongoing matter of the broken fingerprinting machine and the lack of other options to get that part of the home study completed.

So...we've made progress, but we're still a long way off from bringing our child home, which has to be OK, because there are still no referrals available. Good thing too, cuz if I had a photo and a name of my child in India, I just might go all Mama Bear on someone and claw their eyes out. Lord, have mercy. Thank God He's got the whole world (even our unknown child) in His hands.

Please pray with us, friends!

Beautiful Truth

We are so thankful to have friends who rejoice with us, pray with us, support us, and invite us over for Thanksgiving dinner. We had a lovely time yesterday with our friends. We could not ask for a more loving community.

Today, we're not shopping the Black Friday sales. There is not a thing I want enough to spend the money we could and should be saving to bring our child home.

I spent a long time last night reading the book, Kisses from Katie, by Katie Davis, a young woman who left her life in Tennessee (right out of high school) to work in an orphanage in Uganda. She has now adopted fourteen little girls, and lives with them in a Ugandan village, sharing the love of Christ with everyone she meets.

Here is a quote I found especially powerful:

“I know I cannot walk into a village and tell a child that Jesus loves her. She cannot comprehend that because, chances are, she has never been loved. I have to feed her, clothe her, care for her, and love her unconditionally as I tell her that I love her. Once she begins to understand and see my love, I can begin to tell her about a Savior who loves her even more. That is the truth for these children – that they are loved, that they are valuable, that they will not be left as orphans but that they have a plan and a hope for the future. What a beautiful truth.” – Kisses from Katie, by Katie Davis

That's exactly right. Amen, sister. 

 

Broken Machine

So I was super excited that Kyle and I both had the day off today, because I thought that meant we could go to the police station, get our FBI fingerprints done, then take the paperwork to the post office and send it certified mail to the FBI fortress in the mountains of West Virginia.

But...when I called this morning, the lady on the phone said the person who takes fingerprints wasn't coming in today. And when I called this afternoon, a different lady told me the machine was broken indefinitely. Really? Oh, but I won't give up.

Tomorrow, I am having my physical exam done. So take that, broken fingerprinting machine. You can't stop me from making progress on my adoption paperwork during my vacation week.

thankful

Organized mostly by my India-adoptive-mom friend Jennie, lots of women are continuously coming together to contribute to the quilting-for-orphans project! Church ladies' are organizing another crafting fellowship event this weekend! Our quilt squares project is meant to support all adoptions within our church family, and right now, there are three families in the adoption process and two who already have their adoptive children home! This is such a sweet environment to be in.

I don't know what I did to deserve such loving and supportive new friends... Oh wait...yes, I do. Nothing. The love of these friends comes straight from Jesus, and like His love, I don't deserve it, but it's still freely given and freely received. I am so thankful.

waiting on a referral

After our application was processed with the adoption agency for India, I asked the agent to send us any available referrals for adoptable orphans. She doesn't have any right now, and that's good, because that means the ones she had before have been chosen by other families, and will soon be on their way home, but I was hoping to see my kid's face, and now I will have to wait.

Honestly, it's probably better for my heart not to have a referral yet, since our home study is nowhere near finished, so we aren't yet eligible to apply for the grants we need to get the money to start the actual adoption. When I read the email from the adoption agent, telling me the next step with that agency is to send in our first installment of $5,000, I just laughed. "OK," I thought, "Talk to you next year, then." :) Oh don't worry, God will provide the money. But it will take time.

We are so thankful for the nearly $1,200 already donated toward our adoption, and that's not counting our adoption's share of the money that's been flowing into the church adoption fund because of the quilt square fundraiser. Last Sunday was Orphan Sunday, and so many people were willing to help out by donating quilt squares and buying stationary. It's humbling to see other people sacrificing in order to help us bring our child home. I hope she will one day understand the great love already being poured into her life.

The next step is finding a day we can take a few hours off work to go down to the police station and get fingerprinted for the FBI. Sounds like we're under criminal investigation, right? This is all to prevent criminals from adopting sweet little children, so I don't mind so much. I'd rather be inconvenienced by child protection policies than have those policies not in place at all.

How do working moms do it?

I don't know how you do it, you women who work all day (especially if it's with other people's children) and then come home and love your own children. Where do you get the energy? I am so zapped by the end of my teaching work day, my dogs are lucky I'm coherent enough to feed them or throw a ball down the hallway for them to chase in the evenings.

So how do I expect to find the energy I need to pour into my own children, when those dear little ones eventually enter my home? I have no idea. I suppose Jesus will give me the energy. That's the right answer, isn't it? OK, I know He will. He has to. Because that's the only way it can happen.

This extended time of waiting for my child to come home is a good time to pray and prepare my heart for my kids' constant presence in my life. I must confess, I haven't even finished my essays and reading assignments. But I did send the application fee to the adoption agency today! So we've officially applied to adopt from India! I wonder if we will have to wait until after the home study is completed to get a referral? (A referral is a photo and information about a child who is available for adoption).

You should read this blog. This girl is way cooler than me.

Cards and Journals have arrived!

We received this shipment of cards and journals in the mail today!

I love the texture of the hand made paper. It's so soft! The Vintage Debut in Blue and Retro Lava designs are velvety in texture. All of the designs are raised a bit off the paper. The gold coloring is actually shiny! These will make great gifts!

Handmade in India Journal Fundraiser

These are the journals we are selling to raise funds for our adoption from India. All proceeds will go toward our adoption if you order from me.

The names of the designs from left to right are:

"Retro Lava"
"Monarch Moxie"
"A Little Bird Told Me"
"Vintage Debut in Blue" (bottom right)

Each journal is 5"x7" with 48 sheets (96 pages) per journal. The cost per journal is $15. They are handmade in India by women who would not otherwise have a way to support their families. To order, comment on this blog or send me a message and then pay via paypal or you can send me a check. I will post more designs soon. Thanks for your help!

Handmade-in-India Note Cards Fundraiser

These are the notecards we are selling to raise funds for our adoption from India.
The cards come ten to a box and are $10. They are handmade in India by women who would not otherwise have a way to support their families. To order, comment on this blog or send me a message and then pay via paypal or you can send me a check. I will post more designs soon. Thanks for your help!

the growing quilt

I am so thankful to have friends supporting us as we wait, pray and raise funds for our adoption. Adoption is such a long, complicated process. I'm not sure we could pull it off without these wonderful friends.

We are "selling" the quilt squares as a church to go toward an adoption fund assisting all adoptions within our church family. The quilt grew significantly last night at Fall Festival!

I have ordered note cards and journals made with handmade cotton paper in India, by women who would otherwise have no real means to support their families. We intended to sell these at the Fall Festival, but the order did not arrive in time. I will post photos of those as soon as I get them! They are beautifully made! Let me know if you're interested!

"a spirit of adoption"

"For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, 'Abba ! Father !'" Romans 8:15

I wrote this Scripture on the poster I am making for our Fall Festival adoption fundraiser on Friday.

It took me awhile to choose which Scripture to use for the poster. I wonder how many people will connect to these words.

As wealthy Americans, I'm not sure we have any idea what it feels like to have a "spirit of slavery leading to fear," as those in biblical times would have. But the possibility of falling into slavery is very real for orphans around the world. Please pray for them. Pray that all of them would be rescued. Pray that our child will come safely home to us, to live in freedom and peace, knowing the love of her Heavenly Father.

Quilt Squares for Orphans

Ladies from my church gathered last night for fellowship and a crocheting lesson. We are making quilt squares to contribute to a quilts for children who will be adopted into our church family.

For our child's quilt, I am making a list of people who donate quilt squares or sponsor quilt squares with a donation of $5 or more! It would be great if donors included a note! This will be part of our child's "baby book," so he or she will see how many people supported us in bringing him or her home!

If you crochet, the yarn we're using is "worsted weight medium 4." I don't know much about crocheting yet, but I'm learning! I'm not sure if I should tell measurements of the quilt square or how many rows to include? Let me know what you need to know and I will find out the answer! Click on this link to read the instructions I was given for the granny squares.

There is now a working paypal donation button on this blog if you'd like to send donations! We still need about $1,100 for our home study, and then we can start applying for grants, which will cover most of the rest of the adoption costs, expected to total at least $25,000. We are excited to see how God will continue to provide, as He clearly has already begun to do so!

wicked witch temper tantrum

I threw a tantrum in the grocery store. A tantrum, like. a. child. No, there was no audible screaming or visible stomping.

It went something like this:

Kyle: "Your (cardigan) buttons are out of line. Let me fix that for you."

me: "No. I don't care. I'm angry."

Kyle: "Why are you angry?"

me: "I will not straighten my (cardigan) buttons until my child is safely home."

Kyle: "I can be your punching bag, if that's what you need."

And the wicked witch melted.

I'm thankful to have a husband who knows how to calm me down in my moments of insanity.

This tantrum came after a long, busy week followed by an action-packed weekend at a women's church conference, and a conversation about delays in our adoption process, such as the facts that we haven't yet officially settled on a country, and that it might take three months for Alabama to process our background checks. THREE months?!?

So yeh, I was feeling angry, but mostly I'm just tired, and fatigue can lead to all kinds of impatience and temper tantrums, in children and adults alike.

Through the sermons and the hymns and the talks and the booths at the women's conference this past weekend, I was reminded again and again of the orphans around the world. And among those orphans is MY child, who is NOT an orphan. She or he is MINE already...just not home yet.

The pastor this morning spoke about Romans 8. He said, "If you're in Christ, you're as adopted as you're ever gonna be. It's just not yet manifested." We're not waiting until Jesus returns to be part of His family. In the same way, our child is already as adopted as he or she will ever be. He or she doesn't have to wait until we get there to be part of our family. That child is already ours.

In speaking about waiting on the Lord, the pastor also said, "Waiting with patience is the opposite of freaking out. (We should be) living by faith, not by sight...(knowing that) this is what Jesus is going to do." Uh-huh. No freaking out here.

close to you

"Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near? Just like me, they long to be close to you."

Cheesy, yes, but I teared up when this song came on in my car this afternoon. I started picturing my child (I think she's a girl) in India, needing me. I think I know her name, but I need to run that by Kyle before I write about it here. :)

Our first home study visit went well. The social worker toured our house and pointed out the fact that we have no fire extinguisher and the batteries on our smoke detector are dead. Good to know!

He asked Kyle if we have guns in the house, like it would be perfectly normal if we did. We wonder if that was a trick question? Of course we don't guns in the house...but don't tell the bad guys.

We have a loooong to-do list now, including obtaining three official sets of our fingerprints from three separate agencies. Really? Three?

So much to do. But it must be done. Recently, a curious lady asked me why adoption is so expensive and complicated, and I said I wasn't sure, something about bureaucracy, but wouldn't she do everything it took to get to her child if her child were across the ocean, separated from her? Yes, of course she would. Any good parent would go through hell and high water to get to their children, if need be. So, please pray for us as we trudge through "hell and high water" (aka piles of paperwork) to get ours.

A friend is helping me work on fundraising ideas, so stay tuned! I know God will provide!

Quotable Prayers

A dear friend of mine asked another friend (who has an adopted child) for suggestions of ways to pray for me and Kyle concerning our adoption. I love what she said, and I quote:

1. The health and welfare of their future child while they are still apart

2. Success and smooth processing while they do all the paperwork

3. That God nurtures the invisible cord that connects them to their child even before they have met and lets that connection grow in all three hearts so that they bond when they meet

4. Calm during times of anxious waiting

5. Strength and perseverance to work through the process and complete all the steps

6. Wisdom for them to be good parents

7, That God guides the process so that they get the right child for them

8. That their extended families embrace the adoption and fully open their hearts to their new grandchild, cousin, etc...

9. That they get the finances that they need

10. That they feel the assurance and trust that God is holding them and their future child in his hands and that he will guard their futures and bring them together

Dream Child

Last night, I dreamed that I hiked through a huge mountain range to an orphanage to get my adopted child. The lady at the gate greeted me excitedly and said, "Oh! You need a baby!," and led me to a little 2 or 3 year-old girl with dark hair and freckles. I cried and cried and held her in my arms. Oh, let that child come home soon

Not Plan B

Just in case you were wondering, this adoption is not our "Plan B" for having children.

We want both adopted children and biological children!

If a pregnancy happens during the adoption process, we will proceed, and have two children! How exciting would that be?!

Please pray for us as we work toward bringing this child home, that God would make the process go smoothly and prepare everyone's heart for this child's arrival into our family.

Please help us bring our child home!

"Jesus sought me when a stranger, wandering from the fold of God. He to rescue me from danger, interposed His precious blood..."

Dear Friends,

I often think of this line from the hymn, Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing, when thinking about adoption. Every child of God is an adopted child. He wanted us and sacrificed for us before we knew anything about Him.

This is what has compelled Kyle and me to start the adoption process. Of course, I have been compelled to adopt ever since I was a regular babysitter for a little girl adopted from China. I remember staring at that sweet two-year-old in wonder, knowing that she had no idea how blessed she was to have been rescued from the dark alley where she was found before being taken to the orphanage, just as we believers may have no idea how amazing it is that Jesus rescued us from the darkness. I remember thanking God for rescuing her and bringing her into my life.

As the years passed, I had more interactions with adopted children, children from other cultures, and parents seeking adoption. So my desire to adopt has grown ever stronger. We are so thankful to have landed in a community that celebrates adoption. God works out every little detail to see His will done, doesn't He?

Kyle knew this about me before we got married, and I am delighted and thankful that he shares my desire to bring a child home, a child who is now a stranger, but who will soon be our own. I don't know who that child is. I don't know if the child is a he or a she. I don't know what he or she looks like or where he or she will come from. We think our child will be about three years old when she or he comes home.

Because we have a relationship with some children in our church who have been adopted from India, we are strongly considering adopting from India ourselves, but who knows? Our child may be somewhere else. All we know is, our child is out there somewhere, and we need to go get him or her.

Our home study begins next week, and we are hoping that the social worker will help us find a specific direction to follow.

Adoption is expensive, and we can't pay for it with our Army and Christian school teacher salaries, so we are depending on God to supply the funds through His people...and He will! We have seen Him do so for other families. There are grants we will apply for, and we will also be raising support. If you are interested in supporting us in any way, please let us know. We are planning to make a book for our child, documenting all the people who helped us bring him or her come home, whether through financial support, emotional support, prayer, or all of the above. One way we are raising money is by selling crocheted quilt squares, which will be combined to make a blanket for our child! Some friends from church are helping us in that way.

Please ask questions. Send us your stories. We are so happy to share this joy with you. We are so thankful to have such wonderful friends.