turn that frown upside down

Praise the Lord for Hindi speakers.

We took Tarana on a five-hour car trip this weekend for my sister’s wedding.

The night before we left, I was praying with Tarana at bedtime, thanking Jesus for our family members and asking protection for our travel. Tarana started crying and said “No grandmother home. Please, mom.” She cried herself to sleep as a comforted her as best I could, given the language barrier. I knew she was probably confused. She loves her grandparents, but she couldn't bear the idea that we might be taking her to another home to drop her off.

The next day, she protested and protested as we were packing our bags and loading the car. She cried, begged, threw things at us, stomped on her things, ripped paper, anything she could do to show us she didn’t want to go. We didn’t know how to tell her that we weren’t taking her to a new home! So we had to carry her to the car and buckle her in. She protested the seatbelt and tried to open the car door, but eventually we calmed her down. 

We had some happy moments on the trip, like when I showed her how to climb and slide inside the McDonald’s play place and when we stopped at a rest area and picked flowers and talked about birds. She was OK then. It’s when we buckled her back into the car that she cried and begged us not to take her.

When we were about ten minutes from my parents’ house, I pointed out an airplane flying in the sky. And she immediately threw up. So I knew she thought we were about to put her back on a plane, and we tried again to convince her that it was a short trip and we’d return home on Sunday, but she just didn't believe us.

Tarana was a trooper through the bridesmaid’s luncheon, the wedding rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner. She was pouty, but gave us some smiles and was kind to the new people she was meeting. She did throw tantrums at bedtime and bath time, but who can blame her? She was so confused!

She even did a great job walking down the aisle with me during the wedding ceremony! She was the flower girl and I was the matron of honor. She protested her role as flower girl, so she carried my bouquet while I carried her basket. She stood beside me during the ceremony, watching my sister, the beautiful bride, in awe. She decided to throw the flower petals during the recessional, as she walked back down the aisle with the ring bearers. That was fine with us.

As the bridal party stood outside for photos after the wedding, Tarana played nearby. When we told her it was time for our family to be photographed with the bride and groom, she protested. My husband had to pick her up and bring her to the photo spot, and she had a meltdown. In the photos, she is covering her face and crying. 

We felt so sad for her. I tried to comfort her, but then she kicked off her shoes and threw her garland on the ground. So I carried her to the other side of the church where there was a playground. I put her down, but she wouldn’t move. 

One of the wedding guests brought her a big Dora coloring book and crayons, which she ignored until I threatened to color the watermelon blue, and that just wouldn’t do, so she started coloring it red. Her grandmother brought her some snacks from the reception, and they sat there on the sidewalk for a long time until she was calm enough to join everyone in the reception hall. 

There, she was introduced to two of my sister’s friends from India, who spoke to her in Hindi. Tarana told those girls that our family was en route back to India. Oh. So that explains it. They told her we’re not taking her back to India, but back to our house with her toys and her dogs, and she was so relieved! They also explained to her that we were at her aunt’s wedding and would be returning to our house soon. "A wedding?" she said. "Home?" she asked. Until that moment, Tarana had had no idea what was going on! Our English explanations just hadn’t cut it! Once she understood the situation, her frown turned upside down and she was happy for the rest of the visit!

             

We went into this trip knowing it was too early for a newly adopted child to participate in such a big event in a new place, with several nights away from her new home, but what choice did we have? We had to attend this once-in-a-lifetime celebration! It was God's grace that redeemed the situation. We are thankful to God and thankful to our family and friends who helped her along the way. 

There is no way we could have made her understand the purpose of our trip using English. We thank God for these Indian girls who made such a difference in Tarana’s heart. And thankfully, they gave us their phone numbers and told her she can call them any time she’s confused.Thanks be to God.

Tarana has been much happier ever since, singing, dancing, laughing, chattering and even giving hugs and cuddles! And tonight, she told us she loves us! :) :) :) We are so in love with her.

photos

 We're home!

my kind of girl

This little kid knows a lot more than she lets on. Today in the airplane, she said “game,” put on her pouty face and made some whiny noises. I told her to say “please,” because we’re trying to work on manners from the get go. She looks at me and says, “Give me the game, please.” What? That’s maybe the third complete sentence she’s spoken to me. The only other one I remember was “I’m fine, thank you,” in response to our daily “Good Morning, how are you?” routine. She’s going to be speaking like any other American six-year-old real soon, I can tell.

One of her most delightful behaviors is that she acts out our mommy-daughter interactions with her Barbie. If I bathe her, she bathes her Barbie. If I brush her hair, she brushes Barbie’s hair. If I tuck her in, she tucks Barbie in. I love being her mommy!

She’s kind of OCD like me, except not like me, because she can’t seem to tolerate messiness, and I’m MESSY. She always wants everything in it’s proper place. She’s always smoothing down blankets and rearranging things according to her sense of order. She gets very upset if we have trash and have to carry it with us awhile before we can find a trash can. In the Frankfurt airport, she insisted on changing her clothes, since she spilled some powdered creamer on her shirt in the plane.

I bit into a hot pepper on the plane and Tarana, seeing my distress, offered me her cup of yogurt because she’s Indian and she knows that yogurt is the solution to too much spice.

She is way into Disney already, totally mesmerized by the movies Enchanted and Mary Poppins. It made my heart so happy to see her laughing at Bert and friends floating on the ceiling from so much laughter.

She knows a lot of songs! She can sing “If you’re happy and you know it” and “Jingle Bells.” She knows about Santa Claus…he visited the orphanage! We’ve seen pictures!

She’s vegetarian. She’s never had meat, and coke makes her throw up. So we’re going to ease her into the American diet sloooowly. We’re not even going to give her meat broth until after my sister’s wedding in a little over a week. 

oh, and p.s. We are SO thankful to all our friends and family helping us with things like communication, transportation, housesitting, dogsitting, kitchen stocking and child care.  We are so blessed by our family and community!

such a smartie pants

Wow, what a great three days we’ve had being mom and dad to our sweet, spunky little Tarana. She’s a trip, y’all. On the first day, she just waltzed right into the office, looked at both of us and said, “Hello! Mom! Dad!” And just stood there looking at us. We didn’t know what to do! Should we hug her? Kiss her? Shake her hand? So we just stared back at her. There went my fantasy of video recording our first meeting, like it was supposed to play out like some silly Lifetime movie or something, but that was OK. It was just right the way it happened. She is full of life and eager to show off. We love her.

She likes to color in the Veggie Tales coloring book we brought. She was frustrated that none of the crayons looked properly black to her. She has a vision for her artwork, and the choices of colors we provided just weren’t cutting it. Oh, and the other color she requested again and again was “sky blue.” Lucky her, we had that one.

She loves our camera. She has learned to use it, mostly teaching herself, but also coming to us for help.

We communicate well enough. She has enough English vocabulary to let us know what she wants with single words or short phrases. Mostly we communicate with facial expressions and body language. She loves the word “no,” and is a pro with the pouty face. We’ll have to work on that.

She can tell us if she’s hot, tired or hungry. She can say “water” when she’s thirsty. She knows her colors and animals…she even identified a sparrow and a penguin! (She has a stuffed animal sparrow we brought, and there was a penguin in one of the photos we showed her.)

She loves to demonstrate her understanding of the alphabet and counting. She begs to use the computer, just so she can type. Kyle introduced her to a game on his iphone today while we were waiting at the clinic, and she’s way into that.

Tomorrow is visa day! We have an appointment with the embassy, but there is still a form missing from the government. It’s supposed to go straight to the embassy when it’s ready, so please pray that it does! When we left the orphanage today, I told Tarana we would be back tomorrow, and she said, “yes, Thursday”…except she pronounced it “Terzday.” She’s so cute.

In India!

We got permission to travel on Friday, and stayed online and on the phone all day to book our flights. We had a problem booking Tarana because she only has one legal name, but we got it worked out! Thank goodness!

We booked a hotel, but then found out there were more than one with the same name, so we had trouble getting in touch with them to schedule airport pickup, but we got that worked out, too! We’re thankful for internet at the airports!

Thankfully, after 40 hours of no sleep while we arranged everything, we got lots of sleep on the flight, so we were able to navigate with more presence of mind than we had at the airports stateside. And we got to watch Life of Pi on the plane! Such a beautiful movie!

What an interesting car ride we had between the airport and hotel! We saw lots of animals on the sides of the road, lots of vans packed with big families, and yes, the beggars tapped on our windows while we waited at traffic lights. But I hid my face on Kyle’s shoulder, because I just can’t handle that sight and I know those women and children don’t get any money they receive from begging.

Arriving at the hotel, the driver drove up on the sidewalk, in between two rows of parked cars. A dog walked by as our bags were unloaded. To check in, we simply signed a huge hotel log book and followed the luggage handler upstairs. We’re definitely in India! I even got to use a squatty potty at the airport! Thankfully, we have a real potty in the hotel room. :)

We get to meet our daughter tomorrow! Thank you so much for your prayers! We are just absolutely giddy to be here!

the end of the tunnel

I dreamed this blog entry. 

One month after the finalization of our adoption, two weeks after the due date for our daughter's passport has passed, I'm constantly dreaming of her...talking to her, playing with her, hugging her, writing about her, talking about her. All night in my dreams.

She knows we're coming. The orphanage told her she would be leaving soon. She probably doesn't know that other children there will be leaving around the same time, or that one of her bunk buddies will be living just a few miles away with our friends! She doesn't know who we are or how we look, but she knows we're her mama and daddy. 

I'm going crazy. The other day, I decided we shouldn't wait anymore. We should just go over there and make it happen. We had already contacted a travel agent about booking flights. We were deciding on a place to stay.

But then our adoption agent talked some sense into me. With the new laws, we won't be allowed to see her until she receives her passport, even though we have guardianship, even though she's legally ours. So we will wait. and wait. and wait.

Our adoption agent says it gets harder and harder the closer it gets to "the light at the end of the tunnel." So since it's so hard for me now, we must be really close. That's what she said. So I will try to believe it.

She said we should get on with our lives, and our daughter will come when she's ready. She's a tough cookie, our daughter. If she were fragile, she wouldn't be alive, considering what she's already been through.

So we shouldn't worry about bringing her to a family wedding soon after her arrival and we shouldn't worry about having her arrival interrupting our school and work schedules, because she will come when she comes, and we will be so happy to have her here, and it won't matter how we have to adjust our schedules.

India is dragging their feet. We are obsessing. But all will come together in God's perfect timing, and we will be overjoyed whenever that happens.

legal motivation

Last year on the evening of my birthday, I sat huddled on a couch with several other adoptive moms, oohing and ahhing over referral photos, theirs and ours. We shared Indian food that night, and they gave me an Indian themed birthday cake. It was a very happy gathering.

A year later, God has given us what then seemed to be an impossible amount of money for adoption fees and travel costs.

This year on my birthday, we will be researching to find the best hotels and airline itineraries for our trip. We're really hoping to travel this month!

We really need you to pray. Four weeks ago, we were told that the adoption has been finalized. Estimated wait time from that point was said to be two to four weeks. You can see why we're getting anxious now! We've had no updates in nearly four weeks!

There's no way we can travel this month unless God changes the priorities of the people in charge of preparing needed documents. 

As far as we know, there are officials sitting in offices, choosing not to process our paperwork. We don't know whether to blame excessive work loads or lack of motivation. Either way, I know God can prompt these people to act on our behalf! Please pray for that to happen!

We need someone in the orphanage to complete the "adoption deed" and send it to us so we can send it to the embassy in Delhi. At that point, someone needs to choose to do the work of creating a passport for our daughter. She is legally ours, but we need the legal documents to prove it so we can go get her and bring her home!

Three other adoptive families who joined us in our celebrations last year are also waiting for permission to travel to India to bring their children home. Wouldn't it be amazing if some of us could travel together?!

Thank you for your prayers! Our little girl will be home soon!