such a smartie pants

Wow, what a great three days we’ve had being mom and dad to our sweet, spunky little Tarana. She’s a trip, y’all. On the first day, she just waltzed right into the office, looked at both of us and said, “Hello! Mom! Dad!” And just stood there looking at us. We didn’t know what to do! Should we hug her? Kiss her? Shake her hand? So we just stared back at her. There went my fantasy of video recording our first meeting, like it was supposed to play out like some silly Lifetime movie or something, but that was OK. It was just right the way it happened. She is full of life and eager to show off. We love her.

She likes to color in the Veggie Tales coloring book we brought. She was frustrated that none of the crayons looked properly black to her. She has a vision for her artwork, and the choices of colors we provided just weren’t cutting it. Oh, and the other color she requested again and again was “sky blue.” Lucky her, we had that one.

She loves our camera. She has learned to use it, mostly teaching herself, but also coming to us for help.

We communicate well enough. She has enough English vocabulary to let us know what she wants with single words or short phrases. Mostly we communicate with facial expressions and body language. She loves the word “no,” and is a pro with the pouty face. We’ll have to work on that.

She can tell us if she’s hot, tired or hungry. She can say “water” when she’s thirsty. She knows her colors and animals…she even identified a sparrow and a penguin! (She has a stuffed animal sparrow we brought, and there was a penguin in one of the photos we showed her.)

She loves to demonstrate her understanding of the alphabet and counting. She begs to use the computer, just so she can type. Kyle introduced her to a game on his iphone today while we were waiting at the clinic, and she’s way into that.

Tomorrow is visa day! We have an appointment with the embassy, but there is still a form missing from the government. It’s supposed to go straight to the embassy when it’s ready, so please pray that it does! When we left the orphanage today, I told Tarana we would be back tomorrow, and she said, “yes, Thursday”…except she pronounced it “Terzday.” She’s so cute.

In India!

We got permission to travel on Friday, and stayed online and on the phone all day to book our flights. We had a problem booking Tarana because she only has one legal name, but we got it worked out! Thank goodness!

We booked a hotel, but then found out there were more than one with the same name, so we had trouble getting in touch with them to schedule airport pickup, but we got that worked out, too! We’re thankful for internet at the airports!

Thankfully, after 40 hours of no sleep while we arranged everything, we got lots of sleep on the flight, so we were able to navigate with more presence of mind than we had at the airports stateside. And we got to watch Life of Pi on the plane! Such a beautiful movie!

What an interesting car ride we had between the airport and hotel! We saw lots of animals on the sides of the road, lots of vans packed with big families, and yes, the beggars tapped on our windows while we waited at traffic lights. But I hid my face on Kyle’s shoulder, because I just can’t handle that sight and I know those women and children don’t get any money they receive from begging.

Arriving at the hotel, the driver drove up on the sidewalk, in between two rows of parked cars. A dog walked by as our bags were unloaded. To check in, we simply signed a huge hotel log book and followed the luggage handler upstairs. We’re definitely in India! I even got to use a squatty potty at the airport! Thankfully, we have a real potty in the hotel room. :)

We get to meet our daughter tomorrow! Thank you so much for your prayers! We are just absolutely giddy to be here!

the end of the tunnel

I dreamed this blog entry. 

One month after the finalization of our adoption, two weeks after the due date for our daughter's passport has passed, I'm constantly dreaming of her...talking to her, playing with her, hugging her, writing about her, talking about her. All night in my dreams.

She knows we're coming. The orphanage told her she would be leaving soon. She probably doesn't know that other children there will be leaving around the same time, or that one of her bunk buddies will be living just a few miles away with our friends! She doesn't know who we are or how we look, but she knows we're her mama and daddy. 

I'm going crazy. The other day, I decided we shouldn't wait anymore. We should just go over there and make it happen. We had already contacted a travel agent about booking flights. We were deciding on a place to stay.

But then our adoption agent talked some sense into me. With the new laws, we won't be allowed to see her until she receives her passport, even though we have guardianship, even though she's legally ours. So we will wait. and wait. and wait.

Our adoption agent says it gets harder and harder the closer it gets to "the light at the end of the tunnel." So since it's so hard for me now, we must be really close. That's what she said. So I will try to believe it.

She said we should get on with our lives, and our daughter will come when she's ready. She's a tough cookie, our daughter. If she were fragile, she wouldn't be alive, considering what she's already been through.

So we shouldn't worry about bringing her to a family wedding soon after her arrival and we shouldn't worry about having her arrival interrupting our school and work schedules, because she will come when she comes, and we will be so happy to have her here, and it won't matter how we have to adjust our schedules.

India is dragging their feet. We are obsessing. But all will come together in God's perfect timing, and we will be overjoyed whenever that happens.

legal motivation

Last year on the evening of my birthday, I sat huddled on a couch with several other adoptive moms, oohing and ahhing over referral photos, theirs and ours. We shared Indian food that night, and they gave me an Indian themed birthday cake. It was a very happy gathering.

A year later, God has given us what then seemed to be an impossible amount of money for adoption fees and travel costs.

This year on my birthday, we will be researching to find the best hotels and airline itineraries for our trip. We're really hoping to travel this month!

We really need you to pray. Four weeks ago, we were told that the adoption has been finalized. Estimated wait time from that point was said to be two to four weeks. You can see why we're getting anxious now! We've had no updates in nearly four weeks!

There's no way we can travel this month unless God changes the priorities of the people in charge of preparing needed documents. 

As far as we know, there are officials sitting in offices, choosing not to process our paperwork. We don't know whether to blame excessive work loads or lack of motivation. Either way, I know God can prompt these people to act on our behalf! Please pray for that to happen!

We need someone in the orphanage to complete the "adoption deed" and send it to us so we can send it to the embassy in Delhi. At that point, someone needs to choose to do the work of creating a passport for our daughter. She is legally ours, but we need the legal documents to prove it so we can go get her and bring her home!

Three other adoptive families who joined us in our celebrations last year are also waiting for permission to travel to India to bring their children home. Wouldn't it be amazing if some of us could travel together?!

Thank you for your prayers! Our little girl will be home soon!

nesting

She's got three tutus, an Auburn cheerleader outfit, dolls, books, a kitchen play set, and toys galore. The royal baby's nursery has got nothin' on our daughter's room.

Her closet and drawers are full of clothes ranging from sizes 4T to 8T. So many cute little things, hand-me-downs and gifts from friends. I wonder what size she'll wear? We'll have to take outfits in several sizes to India with us. Surely something will fit her for the journey home.

Finally, I'm allowing myself to touch and sort these things of hers. Family members had to do this for me before, because I wasn't ready. Before we knew the adoption was finalized, I couldn't handle it. Only now that I know she's ours am I ready to to really focus on preparations for her arrival.

So I've been spending a lot of time upstairs. I've strung colorful lights over her window and hung some pictures on the walls. I've got her closet mostly in order, and her dolls and stuffed animals on display. Her bed is made and her clothes are organized and put away.

I expedited our visa applications to the consulate yesterday, so hopefully we will be ready to travel when India calls to say our daughter has her passport!

Now we are discussing travel plans, where to stay, who to hire, what to do with our dogs while we're away. So much to think about!

We are so thankful and so, so, so excited!

wishing, hoping, thinking, praying

No news on our adoption.
So we're just wishing, hoping, thinking and praying.
We're wishing the judges were hearing adoption cases this month.
We're hoping to travel to India soon after the New Year.
We're thinking about the way our daughter will change our lives.
We're praying that she is safe and happy while we all wait.

I recently read that in times of uncertainty and anxiety, it's helpful to remember these three words: "It's already written."

God already knows everything about the adoption. He knows all about our daughter. He knows when we will travel and how well she will adjust. God knows. He knows the Indian judges, attorneys and social workers involved in our case. He knows where our daughter is sleeping, what she is eating and who she she spends time with every day.

This certainty of God's sovereignty relieves a huge burden from my heart.
He is with us all. He is her Father and ours, and He will care us all while we wait.

We trust that God's timing is perfect. After all, we have just moved into a new house, we are both looking for new jobs, and my husband will soon start school. Our daughter will come home when she's ready and we're ready, and only God knows when that will be.

Please pray with us!
Merry Christmas!

Community of Hope

***This is an article I wrote for the newsletter of Jeeah's Hope, a local adoption and foster care ministry which has been a tremendous help for us along the way. The article is sort of a summary of our adoption journey so far. We're almost there!***

International adoption has been a dream of ours for many years. For me, the call began when I was in college, babysitting a little girl adopted from China. I used to stare at her, silently praising God for rescuing her from the streets and bringing her into the safety of her loving home. Since that time, when I dreamed about my future family, I prayed that God would give me adopted children, even if that meant not having biological children.

After only two years of marriage, we felt ready to adopt, but we weren’t sure where to start. Thankfully, God led us to a church community where adoption is celebrated. Some friends at church had already adopted two precious children from India, and God had provided most of their adoption expenses, so we started asking questions. We knew we couldn’t fund an adoption ourselves, but surely God would provide for us as He had for them. We just had to take a leap of faith.

Our first home study visit with Lifeline was in October 2011. As we explored our options, it became clear that an adoption from India would be the best fit for our family. We signed on with Island Coast International Adoptions, and received a referral in December.

We didn’t know what to do with the referral! Here was this file and photograph of a beautiful, four-year-old girl. We had a choice. Did we want her? Of course we did! Did we have faith that God would provide the means to bring her home? Sort of. We needed some encouragement.

We found the encouragement we needed through fellowship with other adoptive and foster care families within the Jeeah’s Hope community. Many of these families have already adopted one or more children. They all have unique stories. They have completed the piles of paperwork. They have waited, with their hearts in their throats, to hear news of their adoptive children. They have been through the disappointments. They weren’t surprised or discouraged by delays in the process. They understood the significance of each step of the process, and wanted to celebrate with us. Jeeah’s Hope has been a safe place for us throughout this adoption process.

When we heard that Jeeah’s Hope could offer financial assistance through matching grants or no-interest loans, we had little faith that we could match $4,000, so we considered applying for the loan. Thankfully, we were urged to apply for the matching grant instead, so we did. We strove to raise the funds we needed. We shamelessly asked friends and family for donations, and we participated in fundraisers galore. But you know what? It turns out we were right about not being able to match that $4,000 grant on our own strength. Only God could do it, and He did. The funds came in through unbelievable, amazing, and humbling channels. Our faith has grown so much through this process, and our passion for adoption is stronger than ever.

God has shown us, through providing the support we needed to adopt our daughter, that adoption really is His perfect plan for our lives. "Anna" really is our daughter, and He will do everything to bring her home into His family.

Adoption is a picture of God’s love for us. We fully believe that God has allowed us to go through this process in order to give us a glimpse of His never failing love for us. He really did seek us when we were strangers. He really will love us no matter what. As believers in Him, we really are forgiven our sins and made perfect in His sight. When God looks at us, He sees our brokenness and loves us anyway. Without Him, we would all be orphans.

Praise be to God, who promises:

“Do not fear, for I am with you;
    I will bring your offspring from the east,
    and from the west I will gather you.
⁶ I will say to the north, Give up,
    and to the south, Do not withhold;
bring my sons from afar
    and my daughters from the end of the earth, everyone who is called by my name,
    whom I created for my glory,
    whom I formed and made.”

Isaiah 43:5-7